It is not for kings, O Lemuel - not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
Proverbs 31:4-5 NIV Ryrie Study Bible
Few would argue that it is not good to drink alcohol too much or too often. In fact, most people would agree that over indulgence of alcohol is pretty unwise for anyone not just a king. Interesting though, that chronic drinking seems to be looked over pretty regularly by women when seeking out a mate. Nearly 38 percent of divorced or separated women were married to alcoholics while a small 12 percent were currently married to an alcoholic. It doesn't take a statistician to figure out that alcohol can certainly ruin a marriage.
I don't think that Lemuel's mother was knocking anyone for the occasional glass of wine. What I think she was stressing is the regular consumption that would cause one to start craving. One of the risks one takes in this kind of behavior is just that. A craving or a yearning to continue to indulge, to partake more often and to have more every time. Any recovering alcoholic will tell you that the craving for alcohol drove them to the brink of madness. They felt as though they were unable to resist. This is probably one of the most demoralizing situations one can face. The craving can drive one to miss work, not follow through on committments, lie, cheat and worse. The craver doesn't seem to understand that they don't have to give in to the craving. The craving controls the person. You can sustitute alcohol in this passage for any other thing that controls your thoughts and feelings to the point of being driven to satisfy it. This is the kind of thing that will ruin you, me and yes, a king.
I know this first hand. My craving for food did exactly what is described. The craving or obsession with food and eating not only caused a significant weight gain but along with it came the hidden drive to always want to be alone, so that I could fulfill my need to eat whenever I wanted to and without anyone impeding my insatiable appetite. I never wanted to be without food if at all possible.
I didn't get that way overnight. No one ever does. Isn't that always the way with sin? Sin seems to be that trickling brook in the mountains, bubbling and streaming down. Small enough to step over, hardly making a splash as you pass. But the water gains speed. With speed, more water. Rapidly it gains down the mountain and other streams join it. Now you can't step over and you have to be careful crossing so you don't fall in. The little brook is now a river. Not too much further down the mountain now, you couldn't cross the river if you tried. Not only could you fall in but you could be killed if you got your foot caught on a rock trying. The flow of the water would instantly take you to the bottom and hold you down.
The problem with addiction is that no one wants to be an addict and no one wants to ruin their life with an addiction. It just happens so some and one never knows who that someone is until it is too late. So sad, you have to be in it to know and when you know it's already too late.
The Lord warns us many times in scripture to just not 'go there' with alcohol. In fact, he warns us about participation with those who drink too much as well. Proverbs 23:20-21 says "Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.*
Ladies, if being married or courting a man who overindulges doesn't seem to be too bad a fate let me fill you in on a few more statistics from the National Institute On Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Studies in the general population indicate that fewer women than men drink. It is estimated that of the 15.1 million alcohol-abusing or alcohol-dependent individuals in the United States, approximately 4.6 million (nearly one-third) are women (1). On the whole, women who drink consume less alcohol and have fewer alcohol-related problems and dependence symptoms than men (2,3), yet among the heaviest drinkers, women equal or surpass men in the number of problems that result from their drinking (3). Drinking behavior differs with the age, life role, and marital status of women. In general, a woman's drinking resembles that of her husband, siblings, or close friends (3). Whereas younger women (aged 18-34) report higher rates of drinking-related problems than do older women (3,4), the incidence of alcohol dependence is greater among middle-aged women (aged 35-49) (5).
The data proves that God is not kidding when he speaks out about drunkeness and keeping company with drunkards. If his word were not enough, he has the data that proves it!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Do Not Give Your Strength to Women
Proverbs 31 verse 3 is worded rather interestingly:
"Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings."
New King James Version -Nelson Regency Bible
Do not give your strength to women. What on earth does that mean? Immediately I thought of the kind of strength a women can take from a man when he is infatuated with her. The kind of infatuation that leads you to do things you otherwise may not have agreed to. You know the kind of infatuation that is. It is even more so multiplied when sex outside of marriage is added to this powerful mix. I needed some confirmation so I consulted my newly purchased MacArthur Bible Commentary. One word, holiness. Holiness? Any further elaboration Pastor John? The next note tied it all together for me, "Marrying foreign wives destroys a king like it did Solomon." Does one bad example mean that simply marrying out of your religion damns us all to marital ruin?
God does more clearly explain Solomon's plight in Deuteronomy 17:17 "The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the Lord." Solomon not only wed women outside his religion he married a whole lot of them. 1Kings 11:1 says "King Solomon loved many foreign women as well as the daughter of Pharaoh" -Both verses taken from the New King James Version, Nelson Regency bible
How many wives did Solomon have you ask? If you include concubines about a thousand! With a thousand women around you might gather what was mostly on his mind. I mean, you'd have to be pretty fixated on the physical realm of marriage to feel the need for 1,000 intimate relationships and I use that term pretty loosely. It also says he loved them. What I gather from this is that not only did he have sex on the brain, he was at least emotionally taken with a lot of them. It doesn't take a molecular biologist to figure out that God was clearly not his number one focus at times but definitely his kingship was compromised as well. In the end if you read on in 1Kings 11 you see that much to my dismay, he does in fact get lured away from the Lord toward other gods. In fact, he even built temples for them. This was no mere phase for him.
So what does a woman have to gather from verse 3? If you tie it into the first two it is pretty clear, God wants us to marry men who's heart is for Him that he might seek out a wife who puts God first as well. Not only is it good for both parties to be focused on Christ for practical reasons but it does avoid a lot of heartache later to be able to rely on God together in the midst of crisis and to be able to pray together is a miraculous blessing. The two really do become one before the Lord in this light.
What about the sex part? This comes back to why God wants us to abstain before marriage. I see this in a very practical way and if you don't know, God is very practical as I have come to see in my own life. If God is first and sex is not an issue at all, we won't be lured away by other ideas by being blinded by lust and infatuation. I have seen this example in my own life. I had relationships that weren't, shall we say, biblically focused. The focus of the relationship was purely emotional and physical. When the focus is on pleasing each other by meeting physical needs first and emotional needs second the emotional piece of the relationship gets neglected. There is no spiritual growth. With a neglected emotional relationship and no spiritual growth what you have is a physical relationship that gets stale after a while. No wonder so many of these relationships end even before marriage is brought up. It is like trying to weld steel girders together with Elmer's glue. It just doesn't work.
So we come to King Lemuel's mom's next point to his son -keep your robe down, your eyes fixated on God and you'll find a Godly woman to marry who will keep you focused on God or as we know today, Christ. King Lemuel's mom wanted her son to find his wife and want to marry her for the right reasons this was also a practical warning to a king in order to be a good monarch. In Solomon's case, he missed the mark a few too many times. While Solomon did great things was richly blessed with earthly possessions and gained great knowledge, his lust and disobeying God's law to marry within his religion ruined him in more ways than one. Single Ladies, keep your hearts and minds first of pleasing God. I promise you will attract a mate that is looking for that treasured trait in a wife. Marrieds, keep your eyes focused first on the Lord and your "domestic king" will have a great example of how to live life in a joyful and meaningful way, saved or not.
"Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings."
New King James Version -Nelson Regency Bible
Do not give your strength to women. What on earth does that mean? Immediately I thought of the kind of strength a women can take from a man when he is infatuated with her. The kind of infatuation that leads you to do things you otherwise may not have agreed to. You know the kind of infatuation that is. It is even more so multiplied when sex outside of marriage is added to this powerful mix. I needed some confirmation so I consulted my newly purchased MacArthur Bible Commentary. One word, holiness. Holiness? Any further elaboration Pastor John? The next note tied it all together for me, "Marrying foreign wives destroys a king like it did Solomon." Does one bad example mean that simply marrying out of your religion damns us all to marital ruin?
God does more clearly explain Solomon's plight in Deuteronomy 17:17 "The king must not take many wives for himself, because they will turn his heart away from the Lord." Solomon not only wed women outside his religion he married a whole lot of them. 1Kings 11:1 says "King Solomon loved many foreign women as well as the daughter of Pharaoh" -Both verses taken from the New King James Version, Nelson Regency bible
How many wives did Solomon have you ask? If you include concubines about a thousand! With a thousand women around you might gather what was mostly on his mind. I mean, you'd have to be pretty fixated on the physical realm of marriage to feel the need for 1,000 intimate relationships and I use that term pretty loosely. It also says he loved them. What I gather from this is that not only did he have sex on the brain, he was at least emotionally taken with a lot of them. It doesn't take a molecular biologist to figure out that God was clearly not his number one focus at times but definitely his kingship was compromised as well. In the end if you read on in 1Kings 11 you see that much to my dismay, he does in fact get lured away from the Lord toward other gods. In fact, he even built temples for them. This was no mere phase for him.
So what does a woman have to gather from verse 3? If you tie it into the first two it is pretty clear, God wants us to marry men who's heart is for Him that he might seek out a wife who puts God first as well. Not only is it good for both parties to be focused on Christ for practical reasons but it does avoid a lot of heartache later to be able to rely on God together in the midst of crisis and to be able to pray together is a miraculous blessing. The two really do become one before the Lord in this light.
What about the sex part? This comes back to why God wants us to abstain before marriage. I see this in a very practical way and if you don't know, God is very practical as I have come to see in my own life. If God is first and sex is not an issue at all, we won't be lured away by other ideas by being blinded by lust and infatuation. I have seen this example in my own life. I had relationships that weren't, shall we say, biblically focused. The focus of the relationship was purely emotional and physical. When the focus is on pleasing each other by meeting physical needs first and emotional needs second the emotional piece of the relationship gets neglected. There is no spiritual growth. With a neglected emotional relationship and no spiritual growth what you have is a physical relationship that gets stale after a while. No wonder so many of these relationships end even before marriage is brought up. It is like trying to weld steel girders together with Elmer's glue. It just doesn't work.
So we come to King Lemuel's mom's next point to his son -keep your robe down, your eyes fixated on God and you'll find a Godly woman to marry who will keep you focused on God or as we know today, Christ. King Lemuel's mom wanted her son to find his wife and want to marry her for the right reasons this was also a practical warning to a king in order to be a good monarch. In Solomon's case, he missed the mark a few too many times. While Solomon did great things was richly blessed with earthly possessions and gained great knowledge, his lust and disobeying God's law to marry within his religion ruined him in more ways than one. Single Ladies, keep your hearts and minds first of pleasing God. I promise you will attract a mate that is looking for that treasured trait in a wife. Marrieds, keep your eyes focused first on the Lord and your "domestic king" will have a great example of how to live life in a joyful and meaningful way, saved or not.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Proverbs 31 Verse 10. No Wait, Verse 1?
A Wife of Noble Character:
The title above the verse in my bible really does say it all. A wife of noble character. What is noble character anyway? Let's discuss.
From Dictionary.com:
What is Noble?
1.
distinguished by rank or title.
2.
pertaining to persons so distinguished.
3.
of, belonging to, or constituting a hereditary class that has special social or political status in a country or state; of or pertaining to the aristocracy.
4.
of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence; lofty: a noble thought.
5.
admirable in dignity of conception, manner of expression, execution, or composition: a noble poem.
What is Character-
1.
the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.
2.
one such feature or trait; characteristic.
3.
moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.
4.
qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity: It takes character to face up to a bully.
5.
reputation: a stain on one's character.
6.
good repute.
7.
an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.
8.
a person, esp. with reference to behavior or personality: a suspicious character.
9.
Informal. an odd, eccentric, or unusual person.
In order to understand King Lemuel's mother and why she said all this to her son, we have to of course know what she was trying to make him understand. A wife of noble character or a wife who is of excellent moral and ethical quality is the summation of the verses from 10-31. Wait...did I say that Proverbs 31 was in fact...said by a woman to her son?! You bet your bible I did!
Whew, that is a lot to take in and we haven't even gotten to the first verse yet. Let's consider this. Why would King Lemuel's mom even say this? Why would it be so important for her to pass on in such detail. Why not just run down the list with him on the day of his wedding and let sleeping dogs lie? She starts off her conversation with "Oh my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows".
Oh my son -If you are a mom you get this gal. If you don't, let me explain it. Children are especially prized by their moms. Moms by birth, adoption, and "other". God has placed in the heart of mothers a desperation that yearns for their children. Mothers lament and rejoice in their children. When a child's heart is broken whether over a lost security blanket or a first break-up as a teenager, a mother's heart is broken for their child. Their pain is her pain. When my daughter has lost her "taggie" blanket, finding it is my #1 priority. I'd drive out in the middle of snow storm after it if I had to. Ponder for a moment, how much more the Father is desperate for us. He loves us perfectly. There isn't a mother on the face of the earth that loves her child more than our Heavenly Father loves us. He wants the very, very best for us. King Lemuel's mother wanted the very best for her son. The best wife he could find. Simply because, she loved him the way a mother was divinely designed to love. It was important to her for him to find someone who would make his married life exceedingly happy. Who could blame her?
Oh son of my womb -She acknowledges that he is a part of her. Let me say that again, a part of her. A part of her body. She expresses here especially that he is of her flesh. Like her finger, like her leg. He was born of her. She loves him as herself.
Son of my vows -King Lemuel's mom acknowledges that he was born of a covenant with her husband and her God. She vowed to be faithful and true to her husband and God and she lets her son know that he is as important to her as that covenant. She obviously kept her marriage in the highest regard or she wouldn't have bothered to equate him with it knowing how much she loved him.
She was trying to say, "Look, I love you with all my heart and you know that. Please then, listen to what I tell you because it is one of the most important things I will ever say to you". She wanted to get through to him. Maybe she had experience in this area with her own relationship or her own mother, we don't know. Whatever the reason, she knew the following statements were of the utmost of importance and King Lemuel had to know.
Okay, so now we may have an understanding of the importance that King Lemuel's mom was trying to express. Moms with children of marrying age or soon-to-be may appreciate this importance a little more than me. Carli will be "Bride Ready" in about 20 years so there really isn't any point in bringing this up now, this wife of excellent moral and ethical reputation is there? Of course there is. I can teach her now, I can teach her by my actions. She will be a much better student of my actions than my words. Go read that again. She will be a much better student of my actions than my words. Ladies, your children are watching you. How you act, no matter who is in the room, how you speak to others, talk about your boss especially and how you treat your husband and your own parents are speaking volumes to your children. No matter what you say or what you read, if you are not living it out what you might as well say to them is "this really isn't that important". After all, that is exactly what you are displaying.
If we want our children to grow to be excellent in their marriages and their workplaces then we need to display the behavior and make it look attractive to attain. Proverbs 31 and every other syllable in the bible for that matter, was written for our instruction.
See 2 Timothy 4:1-5 NIV copied from Biblegateway.com
1In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
Next week, verse 10.
The title above the verse in my bible really does say it all. A wife of noble character. What is noble character anyway? Let's discuss.
From Dictionary.com:
What is Noble?
1.
distinguished by rank or title.
2.
pertaining to persons so distinguished.
3.
of, belonging to, or constituting a hereditary class that has special social or political status in a country or state; of or pertaining to the aristocracy.
4.
of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence; lofty: a noble thought.
5.
admirable in dignity of conception, manner of expression, execution, or composition: a noble poem.
What is Character-
1.
the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.
2.
one such feature or trait; characteristic.
3.
moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.
4.
qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity: It takes character to face up to a bully.
5.
reputation: a stain on one's character.
6.
good repute.
7.
an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.
8.
a person, esp. with reference to behavior or personality: a suspicious character.
9.
Informal. an odd, eccentric, or unusual person.
In order to understand King Lemuel's mother and why she said all this to her son, we have to of course know what she was trying to make him understand. A wife of noble character or a wife who is of excellent moral and ethical quality is the summation of the verses from 10-31. Wait...did I say that Proverbs 31 was in fact...said by a woman to her son?! You bet your bible I did!
Whew, that is a lot to take in and we haven't even gotten to the first verse yet. Let's consider this. Why would King Lemuel's mom even say this? Why would it be so important for her to pass on in such detail. Why not just run down the list with him on the day of his wedding and let sleeping dogs lie? She starts off her conversation with "Oh my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows".
Oh my son -If you are a mom you get this gal. If you don't, let me explain it. Children are especially prized by their moms. Moms by birth, adoption, and "other". God has placed in the heart of mothers a desperation that yearns for their children. Mothers lament and rejoice in their children. When a child's heart is broken whether over a lost security blanket or a first break-up as a teenager, a mother's heart is broken for their child. Their pain is her pain. When my daughter has lost her "taggie" blanket, finding it is my #1 priority. I'd drive out in the middle of snow storm after it if I had to. Ponder for a moment, how much more the Father is desperate for us. He loves us perfectly. There isn't a mother on the face of the earth that loves her child more than our Heavenly Father loves us. He wants the very, very best for us. King Lemuel's mother wanted the very best for her son. The best wife he could find. Simply because, she loved him the way a mother was divinely designed to love. It was important to her for him to find someone who would make his married life exceedingly happy. Who could blame her?
Oh son of my womb -She acknowledges that he is a part of her. Let me say that again, a part of her. A part of her body. She expresses here especially that he is of her flesh. Like her finger, like her leg. He was born of her. She loves him as herself.
Son of my vows -King Lemuel's mom acknowledges that he was born of a covenant with her husband and her God. She vowed to be faithful and true to her husband and God and she lets her son know that he is as important to her as that covenant. She obviously kept her marriage in the highest regard or she wouldn't have bothered to equate him with it knowing how much she loved him.
She was trying to say, "Look, I love you with all my heart and you know that. Please then, listen to what I tell you because it is one of the most important things I will ever say to you". She wanted to get through to him. Maybe she had experience in this area with her own relationship or her own mother, we don't know. Whatever the reason, she knew the following statements were of the utmost of importance and King Lemuel had to know.
Okay, so now we may have an understanding of the importance that King Lemuel's mom was trying to express. Moms with children of marrying age or soon-to-be may appreciate this importance a little more than me. Carli will be "Bride Ready" in about 20 years so there really isn't any point in bringing this up now, this wife of excellent moral and ethical reputation is there? Of course there is. I can teach her now, I can teach her by my actions. She will be a much better student of my actions than my words. Go read that again. She will be a much better student of my actions than my words. Ladies, your children are watching you. How you act, no matter who is in the room, how you speak to others, talk about your boss especially and how you treat your husband and your own parents are speaking volumes to your children. No matter what you say or what you read, if you are not living it out what you might as well say to them is "this really isn't that important". After all, that is exactly what you are displaying.
If we want our children to grow to be excellent in their marriages and their workplaces then we need to display the behavior and make it look attractive to attain. Proverbs 31 and every other syllable in the bible for that matter, was written for our instruction.
See 2 Timothy 4:1-5 NIV copied from Biblegateway.com
1In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
Next week, verse 10.
The Myth
The Ladies retreat every year at my church seemed burdensome to me. Everyone raved about it when they went but I was so reluctant. I felt that I couldn't be myself at those things. I was different than they were. They knew it to. There was some judgement of me that they couldn't get over or was it that I couldn't get over it?
I work full-time. Yes, there I said it. I am a christian mother who works full-time. Whenever I told any of my sisters at church I felt like I needed to apologize immediately after I said it. I wore my scarlet "W" on my chest every day. I even felt ashamed of my husband at times and that wasn't fair. He worked hard, he wanted to be the sole provider but that just wasn't the way it worked out for us. We argued about it at times, it was one of those wedges that can so easily be driven deeper when anger and resentment get salted into the divide. I lifted my hands in prayer one morning and said "no more". I was sitting in my car, parked in the driveway of my home with my daughter babbling in the back seat. I was taking her to "school" AKA day care. I said, "Lord, I can't fight with him any more, I don't know how to solve this but you do. Please help me." I turned the key in the ignition and drove to work knowing that if God wanted me to be in the home full-time, he would make a way.
Many things have had happened since then. The Lord put people, places and things in my life that you will no doubt hear about as you read in the coming weeks. They are the reason The Real Proverbs 31 Woman was born.
"Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
Proverbs 31:31 NIV quoted from biblegateway.com
I work full-time. Yes, there I said it. I am a christian mother who works full-time. Whenever I told any of my sisters at church I felt like I needed to apologize immediately after I said it. I wore my scarlet "W" on my chest every day. I even felt ashamed of my husband at times and that wasn't fair. He worked hard, he wanted to be the sole provider but that just wasn't the way it worked out for us. We argued about it at times, it was one of those wedges that can so easily be driven deeper when anger and resentment get salted into the divide. I lifted my hands in prayer one morning and said "no more". I was sitting in my car, parked in the driveway of my home with my daughter babbling in the back seat. I was taking her to "school" AKA day care. I said, "Lord, I can't fight with him any more, I don't know how to solve this but you do. Please help me." I turned the key in the ignition and drove to work knowing that if God wanted me to be in the home full-time, he would make a way.
Many things have had happened since then. The Lord put people, places and things in my life that you will no doubt hear about as you read in the coming weeks. They are the reason The Real Proverbs 31 Woman was born.
"Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
Proverbs 31:31 NIV quoted from biblegateway.com
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